Biological Clock

Those who despise children would have you believe that the Biological Clock doesn't exist.
People who suddenly crave children at 30 aren't under attack from hormones, they're just realizing that they're getting old.
I would have believed the same up until this week. Just old ladies desperate to prove that they're still attractive, trying to get themselves knocked up. I'm not so sure anymore.
I'm starting to think some of us just override it unintentionally.
For 8 years I've used the same Birth Control medication. If it's not broke, don't fix it.
In a simple clerical error, that's probably illegal, the pharmacist put a different kind of pill in my bag when I picked up my prescription this month.
In a simple act of laziness, that's probably very wrong, I didn't return it. I had to start my cycle that day. I took the different pill. How different could they all be?
Many people on Birth Control get very used to the fact that the pill makes you less excited about getting laid.
After 8 years I'd basically forgotten what my hormones were like before I started taking it.
The  Birth Control that I'm taking now must have different hormone levels because things are changing.
My emotions are uncontrollable.
I have crazy obsessions with doing things that I KNOW would totally ruin me, I scheme all day about my crazy ideas, praying that I'll make the impossible, possible.
My dreams at night are so real that I can't let go of them. I want to act on them as soon as I wake up and they control me for days.
I'm happy and excited and anxious for no reason.
I'm certain that I'm mentally not all there right now. And the change in medication is likely the reason. Maybe it will pass once I'm used to it.
I haven't suddenly had the urge to have children, but I'm starting to believe that others do.
The rest of us just unwittingly did something to ourselves permanently or temporarily to stop it.
Hormones are a powerful thing. I'm not sure if I like it or not.

Public Breastfeeding

I like to think the majority of people, even those dumb enough to have children know what appropriate public conduct consists of.
There's a right way and a wrong way to Breastfeed in public.
My friends with children have the common decency to cover themselves while feeding their babies.
You don't need to buy special shirts or contraptions, it's as simple as carrying a blanket with you.
The law is clear where I come from, women cannot be bare chested in public.
But if one should mention having a problem with Breastfeeding a swarm of angry breeders descends upon you.
I think the double standard is due for a rethink.
Breastfeeding is incredibly unhealthy for babies as it is, I'm more disgusted having to see a baby sucking on your chest than I would be to see someone walking around naked.
Start arresting women who have no social skills, or change the law.
Some of us are trying to eat without puking over here.

Hate

A childfree person is quick to defend them self with
"No, no, no I don't dislike children, I know plenty of children, I have children relatives, I teach children at school, I take in foster children, I don't HATE children!"
I'm going to clear up the little rumor that all childfree people like children, they just don't birth any.
I do not.
I strongly dislike children.
I will go so far as to say I regularly get into circumstances where I HATE the children involved.
The reason is an accumulation of events over my whole life, some small and irritating, and some life-defining and horrific.
Some of the most memorable are,

1. Babysitting was my first experience with really small children. The first time I was alone with a baby and had to change it's diaper was disgusting. Most of us haven't been shit on by the time we're 12. I finished my time with him and immediately quit babysitting. I haven't so much as held a baby since. For some reason pets getting messy never bothered me as much. A cat that craps on itself seems manageable to me but human feces is unbearable. Maybe there's just more of it.

2. I dated a father once. He took a T-Shirt of mine that he didn't know had sentimental value to me, and let his 8 year old wear it as pajamas without telling me. She pissed the bed, and my white T-Shirt. The only reason he even told me it ever happened is because after putting it through the wash three times the stains would not come out, then he ruined it with bleach. He fully intended to give it back to me and never say a word. Parents will literally do ANYTHING for their child, and it is probably correct that their child should be put first before their other relationships. But I would never associate with someone who intentionally ruins precious items and then expects me to unknowingly wear a kid's piss for the rest of my life. I have never and will never date a parent again. They have no moral compass above what's good for their children. That's just biology.

3. I was pregnant for two months and one week. All I could think about was tape worms and the Alien movies where a monster bursts out of people's stomachs. There is nothing more disgusting than carrying a parasite inside you. I have no idea how people make it through nine months. I couldn't.

4. Every person alive, including the people with kids have been out in public and seen a child misbehaving at a level that a regular person would be appalled by, and yet the parents don't even seem to see them. A toddler in a restaurant at a table next to me intentionally upsets his plate directly onto my lap. The parents just picked him up and walked away like "OOPS haha babies, what can you do" and I'm sitting there with a lap full of noodles. What a fucking little shit. I'll go so far as to say 99% of bad public behavior incidents are the parent's fault but kids are uncontrollable, that's their nature.

Countless other times in my life I've been confronted with situations where I'm expected to have a conversation with someone who isn't developed enough to make complete sentences, but you have to respond correctly because if you say things the wrong way you'll psychologically damage someone else's baby for life. The sheer amount of work that it takes just to be in the same room as a toddler is unreal. Newborns are NOT cute, they're hideous!

I hate looking at babies.
I hate the smell of babies.
I hate the never ending shrieking from babies.
I hate talking to babies.
I hate holding babies.

I'm Vicky and I am in no way ashamed to say that I dislike babies. I really do.

Selfish

An article by the Daily Beast, you can read it here, refers to childfree people as 'Selfish'.

To their credit, after a barrage of childfree responses to the post, they put up a lovely collection of childfree people championing their lifestyle that you can see here.

I think people generally misuse the term selfish.

As a satanist I believe that everything each one of us does every day of our lives is a selfish act. You eat because you are hungry, sleep because you are tired, and scratch your nose because it itches. These are things we do for our self. Even charitable acts are done with the intent of feeling good about ourselves.

Since everything in life is selfish I have to assume that the author defines selfish as something that we do to benefit ourselves without respect to the fact that it negatively impacts others.

So who on earth is on the receiving end of the horrible consequences of me not having a child?

The Daily Beast would have me reproduce to sustain the economy. The great endeavor of Capitalism needs my ovaries! Just think of the big banks that won't collect my kids' money, and the Universities that won't collect my kids' money, and the shopping malls, and the restaurants, and the Drug companies that won't collect my kids' money! Who will man the grocery store cash registers? Who will deliver the mail? Who will brew the Tim Horton's Coffee? There's no way that the exploding population of Earth is enough to sustain these most important of matters, so I must give birth to enough children to do each one of the menial tasks that runs the country. Quick, pop out another one! We don't have a garbage man yet!

You can't honestly be referring to the child itself, who doesn't even exist. In that case we had better extract every single one of our eggs and artificially inseminate immediately because the potential loss of life is in the THOUSANDS. 

Who would be so selfish as to not produce thousands of babies per parent?!

Well except for the part where the human race would be completely extinct at this point because of the complications from having more people than square inches of land on earth.

Oh! You meant the negative impacts on all of the people that my offspring would have benefited.

Because there's such a good chance that my child will cure cancer and become a retirement home nurse to take care of everyone else.

I can't imagine a better motivation for giving birth than to have someone to maintain the baby boomers. Of course you'll have to force your child to take a post secondary education that's to the benefit of others. You wouldn't want them to pursue their dreams of becoming an artist or anything like that.

Oh! You meant the negative effect on my poor childless husband. It has always been a life long dream of his to take up a second job in order to pay for me to stay home and raise our children. He wants nothing more than to change diapers and watch Dora The Explorer while the football game is on.

Oh! You were referring to my parents not getting any grandchildren. Yes the 20 hours per year that they will visit is certainly proportionate to the 20 years that I will lose breeding.

Oh! You were thinking of the people out there who are already parents, exhausted and overweight, in a sexless marriage, driving a minivan to soccer practice, where their kid who hates them can learn to play a game that they will be tired of in six months, who need reassurance that their decision was the correct one. Well, you got me there. I don't give a fuck about their mistakes, because I'm selfish.

Population Control

The human species is running out of room.
Buildings are getting taller and apartments are getting smaller as we try to accommodate a population that is on track to destroy itself.
And yet, government's give tax breaks to people who breed. Workplaces provide a year long paid holiday each time you have a kid.
An 'environmentalist' who had 4 children tried to tell me yesterday that I should switch to a more fuel efficient vehicle because I'm hurting the earth. I could ride six tanks to work on a tidal wave of oil and not do the damage to the planet that a family of SIX people would do, but she seems to have missed that irony.

Knowing that there are literally millions of children hoping to be adopted right now, how can you morally justify making another life instead? Why is your biological child who you haven't met yet SO special that you already know you'll be more satisfied with them than the millions of others you could be choosing from?

Are you going to be so solid in your resolve when the biological child turns out to be physically or mentally disabled? If it turns out not to be the gender that you wanted? If they don't adopt your religion or your beliefs about sexuality?
Take the guessing out. Choose a child who is already alive and well and waiting for you.
Or keep waving the green flag while you pop out endless consumers. That's the beauty of Canada, we have a Choice.

Your Choice

Around these parts no one needs to be Prolife or ProChoice because there's no longer any debate about it. The choice is protected. The conservative branch of our government refuses to even discuss it because it's a fundamental part of being Canadian. We're safe and we're lucky.

To me Abortion Rights are so clearly tied with ChildFreedom because it's the same people who would demand that those who don't like children or can't raise one, do it anyway.

In a world where our population greatly exceeds what our Earth can accommodate, where third world toddlers watch parents die from HIV, where mental illness in rich countries goes ignored until someone drowns their baby, where kids are born simply to be sold as slave labour or prostitutes, why try to take away the choice from those who are ABLE to stop those things from happening to a child?

If you've left your house recently you will have noticed that there are quite a few people breeding intentionally who don't have the slightest idea how to raise a child.
Let the people who are intelligent enough to know that about themselves, make the right choice.

It's Different when it's your OWN Baby

Though I'd agree that it's much easier to accept your own mistakes than those of others, I'd just like to dispel the myth that people who dislike children will suddenly love them when they become pregnant.

I am a living breathing exception. One of millions.

It was six years ago that I was screaming and crying on the concrete floor of a bathroom, inside a telemarketing office that had been converted into the apartment that I rented.

My boyfriend of six months looked just as shy and useless as usual, except today his silence and shoulder shrugs were more offensive than ever before because my test was positive.

I was plenty loud enough for the both of us.

Countless excuses could be made. There was no question that the $5.90 per hour that I made part time after University classes was not going to cut it when a baby came around. The father did not have the mental capacity of a child, let alone someone who could raise one.

But I don't sugarcoat the truth. I could not have the baby because I had always hated babies and peeing on a stick that fateful day only fed my hatred.

He remained silent but looked disappointed when the first words out of my mouth were my plan to kill it.

It took two weeks for a doctor to confirm that I was in fact pregnant, and due to the enormous waiting list, it would be another month before they could terminate it.

During that time hatred turned to disgust. Disgust with the baby. Disgust with myself for getting pregnant. Disgust at my boyfriend, who I never spoke to, or saw again, because he refused to tell anyone we knew what happened. 

It might have been the disgust, or maybe just the morning sickness that made me throw up every day, but either way I grew to see my baby as an illness, and a parasite. Living off of my body, making me weak and fat. All I could think about was ending it. Destroying it before it could destroy me. It seems silly looking back to think how afraid I was of something so small.

Some people call it "pre partum" but to me it's pretty obviously an intelligent person's common sense kicking in. A baby isn't right for everyone. Certainly NOT for me. 

Childfree by Choice. The choice that I can now say I really made, and will continue to honestly make, even when it's

'My OWN Baby'